STORM! powered by Gaia

Once I disembarked from the Marriot’s private boat, time suddenly speeds up to resume its inexorable march! The hustle and bustle of Bangkok inundates me, hawkers selling their wares, horns toot from the ubiquitous tuk-tuks and noxious exhaust fumes are belched from all manner of vehicles. I take the Skytrain and head to the world’s largest open air market, the Jatuchak weekend market. To be completely honest, once I arrived, I did not know where to start. The mind-boggling array of products spread across this labyrinthine market can be extremely daunting. It is best to have some semblance of a plan and a rough idea of what you wish to purchase. Do not even delude yourself into thinking that you can cover the whole place in a day. Haggling is a must, it may be tiresome for some, but if you take it in your stride, you will realise that it is part of the culture and adds to the adventure! Having no plan myself, I simply roamed the market aimlessly and basically stopped at whatever stalls caught my fancy. Make no mistake; Jatuchak is literally no walk in the park. You have to jostle with not only the thousands of tourists that descend onto Bangkok, but the locals too. Jatuchak is not an attraction reserved exclusively for tourists; local Thais come here to shop too. You would be hallucinating if you even for one moment think that you will be able to secure the same price for the same product that a local gets! Just accept the fact that as tourists, we will be charged more than locals. Naturally, as in any other crowded location, you have to be extra cautious of pickpockets. There is also the unforgiving Thai heat to contend with. I made several pit stops in quaint little cafes to escape the heat. I had tall glasses of cold super sweet concoctions of Thai ice milk tea (not my favourite actually), red ruby (pieces of water-chestnuts encased in a gelatinous layer of red tapioca flour, floating in coconut milk and topped with shaved ice) deserts and ice cold Chang beer! Savouring the different hawker food on offer was my favourite part! I am a rabid hawker food fan, fine dining does nothing for me! I love to eat as the locals eat, totally authentic and unpretentious! I had deliciously marinated skewers of meat barbequed over charcoal fires, fiery papaya salad and Thai beef noodles. They really hit the spot! Whilst continuing with my shopping, I had thus far amassed a collection of garments, cushion covers and a variety of other home decor knick-knacks, when the strangest thing occurred. It was as if Professor Xavier of the X-men was in the vicinity and froze everybody in their tracks with his telepathic powers à la the museum scene in X-men 2! People slowed downed, silence fell and everyone came to a complete standstill! The reason to this peculiar behaviour was that the Thai national anthem that was being broadcasted over the PA system. I froze too, as a mark of respect for their patriotism. After the anthem was over, everyone came back to life! I was so pleased to have participated in what I later learnt was a twice daily ritual.

With my feet screaming for mercy, I made my way back to the sanctuary of the Marriott. It makes a world of difference to be able to return to a haven which is far removed from the noise and chaos of everyday Bangkok. It made my visit so much more pleasurable. The sun was about to set, so I figured what better way to end the day by dining al fresco by the River Terrace with a spectacular sunset view of the Chao Phraya . I ordered the tangy Tom Yum Gung, Green Curry Chicken and beef salad. And I must say that they were one of the best versions I’ve ever had in Thailand. I have tried to replicate their delicious Beef Salad at home but with little success. Night soon fell and an illuminated Marriott was unveiled, with strategically placed spot lights and fairy lights, it was transformed into an entirely different kind of wonderland! And on, across and along the mighty river, a myriad lights winked playfully at me.

The next night, I met up with my friend Taufiq, a Baghdad born-London bred photographer who moved to Bangkok recently. We went to a gay establishment called Telephone Pub at Silom Soi 4. Apparently, Telephone is quite the gay institution in Bangkok. Service is swift and eager, because from the looks of the suspiciously similarly themed pub directly opposite, competition must be stiff. We sat outside in order to people-watch. Telephone is a place you head to while the night is still young and you want to start off with a few pre-party drinks. Food is served there as well, my other friends who have dined there before, swear that the food is nice, but I have to beg to differ. I found the food there to be very ordinary. After dinner, gossip and catching up, Taufiq and I headed to Jupiter, one of the more upscale go-go boy clubs. Jupiter is less sordid than the plentiful go-go boy bars in Bangkok as there is relatively less nudity there. And when there is nudity involved, it is very tastefully done. A strategically placed hand, fabric or some form of prop aids in covering the crown jewels. At the very most, all you will get to see is a flash of genitalia, which I found to be more erotic and titillating rather than exposing everything all at once for all and sundry to see.

The boys strut around in white hot-pants with their number tags pinned on one side, in the hopes that you will request for their company. They get a commission from drinks that punters buy them and of course they get to keep whatever they make if you take them out for a night of debauchery! There is a decent diversity within their ranks in order to cater to clients’ differing tastes. Inevitably, one of the boys sidled up to me. Poor boy, I suspect he’s new in the game and had absolutely no idea how to read clients! He was in his early twenties; fair, lanky with spiky bouffant K-pop star hair and a touch effete. Very not my type! After much convincing on my part that I was not in the least bit interested, he directed his attentions to Taufiq instead. Taufiq very obligingly entertained the boy and bought him drinks and even tipped him. Mind you, Taufiq is no saint! He got his fair share of groping and stroking too! And that concluded my night in the notorious Patpong district. And my visit to Bangkok ended the following day, but it will not be my last!